"Is having a doula really necessary? Yes, Doula Care is for the Entire Family

Because the roles of a doula and a supportive partner or co-parent tend to overlap during labor, some people wonder "Is having a doula really necessary?" Some partners even worry that the presence of a doula may even diminish or replace their own role during labor. This post is to reassure all laboring people, partners, or dads-to-be that their role is invaluable and that the presence of a skilled doula complements the support they offer, and strengthens it, allowing partners to participate at the level that feels right to them.

Read on to learn about four different ways that doula care benefits the entire family.

Reconnecting new families with the traditional ways of welcoming new babies  into the world

The expectation new parents are meant to take care of a newborn alone is not aligned with how societies have cared for families for thousands of years. Having a doula present with a new family before, during, and following the birth creates a temporary village and can help bridge the gaps in our healthcare system. We can help you to feel more comfortable with what is in the range of normal, build your confidence in your new roles as parents and caregivers, and help you get some rest and self-care in the process.

Honoring both partners transformation into parenthood

In just the last few generations, fathers have gone from being mostly absent and excluded from the delivery rooms of their partners to being present, engaged, and participating actively in the birth of their children. Let it be clear that hiring a doula does not and cannot replace or replicate the unique support that your partner can give you, but we can work together to support the birthing person to the fullest. Instead of replacing your partner in the laboring room, I provide support to both of you. Partners of laboring people are undergoing their own transformation during the birth that should be honored and supported as well. I bring with me the ancient tradition of peer-to-peer support, my years of accumulated knowledge and experience of labor and childbirth to serve you both.

Stress-reducing & Confidence Building

You read all the books. attended all the classes, and now you’re here in the midsts of labor, watching the person you care so much about experiencing the intensity of contractions and suddenly are drawing a blank on what is happening and how to help, and you may begin to feel a little helpless and even panicked. Not to worry! Your doula is calm, cool, collected, and confident and they help to recenter you by reminding you what you’ve already learned these past months and offering guidance and suggestions on how you can offer support to your partner. 

Practical + Emotional Support

“You cannot give from an empty cup,” is one of my favorite adages when I’m discussing the importance of self-care both in and out of the birthing room. If a support person is not practicing sufficient self-care, it becomes harder and harder to show up for their partner. Having a doula present at your family's labor and delivery makes it possible to take care of yourself so you can wholly be present for your laboring partner. You can feel assured that your partner never laboring alone while you take a break to eat, call any eager family members with updates, use the bathroom, or take a moment to collect yourself. Your doula will also have a bag full of tricks, quite literally, that she can draw from different tools and techniques to try out to soothe, comfort, and help you both. 

Postpartum Care and the Fourth Trimester

Before reading on, I'd like to invite readers to try this exercise: Open another tab or window and enter “postpartum” into your search engine and note how many hits or even pages you must wade through in order to find results for topics not specifically focused on “postpartum depression” .

---

During each trimester of pregnancy, our bodies change in rapid and significant ways, and for each transformation, we anticipate and prepare ourselves in earnest and a lot of time and energy into taking care of our pregnant selves and planning our ideal birthing experiences. We abstain from alcohol and sushi, attending childbirth education classes, reading all the pregnancy books, tour birthing locations and medical care providers, interview doulas, and patiently bear through all the advice from every direction (welcomed or unsolicited).

While birth marks the completion of the pregnancy, it marks the beginning of a new phase for both parent and child and new challenges. Parents and their newborns experience new rhythms of sleep, feeding and care, not to mention the physical recovery from childbirth with very few exceptions. How do we anticipate and prepare for this, and what resources are available to us during pregnancy?

Culturally, In the West, we do a poor job of supporting families into the transition of parenthood, beginning with the lack of preparation for what to expect, evident through the exercise at the beginning of this post.

Creating community is key. The expectation new parents are meant to take care of a newborn alone is not aligned with how societies have cared for families for thousands of years. Due North aims to reconnect with traditional ways of knowing around welcoming a baby into your life.

In many cultures across the world and throughout history, the postpartum period was honored as a traditional time of rest, recovery, compassionate care, and welcoming by the community for the new family. In the States, we’ve fallen away from a lie-in period and postpartum and have replaced it with an effort, if not obsession of “bouncing” back; back to a body and a life before Baby, quickly returning to our favorite activities, returning to work often out of necessity, and minimal hands-on support accumulates to a heavy burden at the expense of our physical and emotional health. The healthiest way to regain equilibrium with your life before Baby and your new life with Baby is to honor this liminal period of the fourth trimester, rest, nourish yourself and your baby, and ask and accept assistance as you adjust, and its hardest to ask for help when you’re in the most need for it, so when you’re preparing for your birth, prepare for your postpartum as well.

With Due North, postpartum doula care creates a temporary village and can help bridge the gaps in our health care system by meeting parents where they are, and empowering them by building on their existing knowledge and preferences. We can help new parents to feel more comfortable with what is in the range of normal, cultivate confidence, and can help you get some rest and self-care in the process.

For more information about Due North Support Services' Postpartum Doula Care, we invite you to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation with us.

What is the difference between an OB or midwife and a doula?

The most important thing you can do when thinking about your pregnancy and birth is to pick the appropriate team of people to support you.  

There is a lot of confusion over who your team entails. Here’s a breakdown of the important differences between an OB or midwife, and a doula.

So what is the difference between an OB, midwife and a doula?

The biggest difference between OBs or midwives and doulas is that an OB or midwife is your medical care provider; This is the person who is responsible to take care of your and your baby's medical needs. This person has the authority to diagnose, prescribe treatment for medical conditions, perform clinical procedures, and may make decisions regarding your care; they are the person entrusted to take care of you and your baby in the event of an issue or emergency.

There are important differences between an OB and a midwife. An OB (obstetrician) is a doctor who specializes in pregnancy, childbirth, and a woman's reproductive system and has graduated from medical school.

There are two main categories of midwives, nurse-midwives and professional midwives. The difference between the two is how they obtained their education, and where they primarily practice.

Nurse-midwives are registered nurses who have graduated from an accredited nurse-midwifery education program and have passed a national exam. You will find most nurse-midwives practicing in hospitals and birth centers.

Professional midwives are non-nurse practitioners who have training and clinical experience in childbirth, including childbirth outside of the hospital, and have passed a national exam and may practice in a birth center, and may also attend homebirths.

A doula is a non-medical companion who sees to the laboring persons informational, emotional and physical comfort and support throughout their birthing journey.

As a doula, I help birthing people maintain a sense of control, comfort, and confidence in ways such as soothing with touch through a variety of techniques of physical support from massage to tying a rebozo. I can apply counter-pressure, perform hip squeezes, and suggest and help the birthing person into different positions between contractions to ease the discomfort and make for more efficient labor. I can help to create a calm physical space and environment, and assist with water therapy such as helping the birthing person in and out of the tub, helping to run water over the belly or back and help to keep the birthing person nourished and hydrated with snacks, water, and ice.

One of my primary goals as your doula is to care for the emotional health of my clients and enhance their ability to have positive birth memories. I offer emotional support to help you feel cared for and feel a sense of pride and empowerment before, during, and after birth with my continuous presence throughout the journey, offering reassurance, encouragement, and praise.

I provide informational support to keep you and your partner informed about what’s going on with the course of labor, as well as provides them with access to evidence-based information about birthing options. I can help you find evidence-based information about different options in pregnancy and childbirth, helping explain medical procedures before or as they occur, suggesting techniques in labor, such as breathing, relaxation techniques, movement, and positioning (positioning is important both with and without epidurals).

What I consider to the be foundation of my work is advocacy. I advocate for my clients by supporting you in your right to make decisions about your own body and baby by encouraging you or your partner to ask questions and verbalize your preferences, creating space and time for you to ask your care providers questions, gather evidence-based information, and make decisions without feeling pressured.

Another important distinction is who is working for whom. As your doula, I am working for you, and not the clinic, hospital, OB or midwife, but you! I arrive when you call, and I leave only after you and baby are comfortably settled in. I will also visit you once or twice more during the postpartum period, or more if you opt for postpartum doula care.

While OBs and midwives are there to take care of your medical needs, they are also taking care of other patients needs as well. Nurses provide physical and emotional support when they can, but research has shown that labor and delivery nurses can only spend a limited amount of time in each client’s room, between 12% and 31% of each person's labor. Nurses may also go off shift, at which point their support ends, and a new provider is introduced. As your doula, my primary responsibility is to you - the birthing person— not to a hospital administrator, nurse, midwife, or doctor.

If I have an OB or a midwife, do I really need a doula?

While you typically cannot have both an OB and a midwife attend your birth, you can have an OB and a doula, OR a midwife and a doula.

One way to understand what a doula's role is to compare the work we do to that of a personal trainer. So for example, a medical expert has the authority to tell you to exercise and what foods to eat in order to achieve your health and wellness goals, but it is the personal trainer that teaches you how to exercise, sets your workout schedule and your routine, suggests meal plans, and motivates you as you make progress. A doula works in a similar scope and capacity. I am here to help you achieve your goals and have positive experiences regarding your pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period in an informed, personalized way.

But what about my partner?

Let it be clear that hiring a doula does not and cannot replace or replicate the unique support that your partner can give you, but we can work together to support the birthing person to the fullest. Instead of replacing your partner in the laboring room, I provide support to both of you. It’s important to remember that partners are undergoing their own transformation during the birth. I bring with me my years of accumulated knowledge and experience of labor and childbirth to serve you both and can provide support for your partner as well by helping to explain things that are happening, coaching your partner in ways to offer you support, and remaining in the room with you while they use the restroom, get a bite to eat, or call home to update or check on the rest of the family.

Can I afford a doula?

I firmly believe that everyone who wants a doula should have a doula. This is why I work with people and meet folks where they are at in terms of payment by offering an all-inclusive doula care package and flexible payment options, and a willingness to barter to ensure a stress-free experience.

Ready to assemble your birth team? Book a free, no-obligation consultation where we can meet up and discuss what is it you're looking for and see if we're a good fit and work out a payment plan that serves us both!